it's my life

i just suddenly feel like writing...

Everytime telling how full how pack is my schedule actually tires myself also. lol.
Not wanting to compare to anyone whether how busy i am, or complain, there's nothing i would complain because all of these responsibilities i took it myself =)
therefore whatever stress, problems, troubles would be my responsibility to take care of it.

I chose to dance so frequent.
I chose to take part in competitions.
I chose to teach dance classes.
I chose to be the dancing designer of college's musical.
Before taking on these responsibilities, I've already thought of the consequences, whether i can handle all of them.

I chose to continue my studies.
I chose to finish up my assignments in rushing hours.
After finishing Diploma and before i started Advance Diploma, I've thought of these.

all of these are actually choices to me. I can reject and then my life would be so much easier.
I can be healthier sleeping more.
I can be prettier with less stress.
I can be more free and have time to hang out.
My voice would not turn more n more bass.

But yet, after thinking, in the end i still wanna MAKE MYSELF LIKE THIS. lol.
That's the part. I realized i am one of those who cannot afford to lose ANY opportunities that I've got in my life. at least... holding on as much as i can.

I have friends that ask me why continue study.
friends that ask me why must i dance so much because dance couldn't earn a living.
friends that discourages me when they see me living like this.
friends that think i deserve to look ugly because i put myself into all of these.
friends that think taking so many things makes me look like a fool.
but i also have some that encourages whatever i'm working on.
some that are happy to see me working on so many things to achieve my goals.
some that feel proud for me that i could be doing so many things at the same time.
some that worry bout my health and status while i'm doing all of these.

I'm happy.
I'm honored to have so many of you caring on me disregard negative or positive.

But i want to tell the world.
I am enjoying every bit of my life.
I am enjoying every stress that I've got.
I am learning every second when I'm doing anything.
I am working super hard for goals and dreams.
I am trying my best not to waste time and opportunities.

I dunno whether this is the correct or positive way to do it. at least i tried :)
I wont blame people who discourage or objects me.
because you aren't me.
you won't know why i wanted to do all of these =)

apart from all of that,
to all my beloved friends,
I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS.
I STILL MISS ALL OF YOU.
please dun love me less just bcuz i dont have enuf time to spend with u guys =.=